I’ve long discovered that something had to be done about how I planned my week. You see…I’d start out great…awesome intentions, lots of energy and then when the weekend hit it would go down hill FAST! I work well by myself but weekends when hubby is home, the dynamics are completely different.
So, here’s the new plan. FRIDAY is my planning day and essentially the beginning of MY week! I want to begin with a fast of sorts, to be able to let go of the previous week and embrace the new one with enough renewed hope to carry me through the rough spots. The weekend then becomes my recharge days, spiritually as well as physically and emotionally. Church, friends, family…you get the picture.
Seeing it from this perspective allows my weekends to become a ‘filling up’ process instead of a ‘release’ time. So that now I can make better conscious decisions to add more of what energizes me to my days and stay away from what depletes me.
www.essydphoto.comThey say that when you are ready, the teachers will come. I’ve recently discovered the powerful speaker Brendan Burchard’s videos. I don’t know very much about him at all, so if there is anything negative out there…just keep it to yourself for the moment. I need to live in my bubble for a little while. lol.
In the video that I have linked to at the bottom of this page, he talks about Personal Responsibility. I’m telling you…this is EXACTLY what I needed right now. In fact, what he’s talking about here is what this entire blog is about.
I’ve mentioned my struggle with anxiety and depression HERE , and I really believe that bad habits developed throughout my life have contributed to it. As controlling and obnoxious as I can be, I’m also very needy. In other words…I’m a big baby…or I WAS. This blog is all about documenting the process of me changing into who I’m supposed to be, who the Lord created me to be.
So I’ve acknowledged my issues, I see clearly what was holding me back…so what now? I take personal responsibility for where I’m going, that’s what. 😀 Lacking that, I’ve been lacking self esteem and confidence. That leads me to feel FROZEN, unable to live up to my responsibilities in life. I feel like a victim a lot, filled with frustration and oh so lost. And yes…DEPRESSED! Sounds familiar doesn’t it? I really think this is big in our society right now.
So Brendan in this video lays out FIVE areas that we need to take responsibility for.
1)Our Aim: We need to plan out our life. Find out what we want, what we really really want. 😀 What makes you happy? What makes you energized? What gives you life? No clue? Do you have a Pinterest account? If so, go take a peek. lol. Start being proactive on what you’d like to see happen in your life. Here’s my list .
2)Our Attention:This is a big one for me. I’m all over the place. I’m always saying that I have ADD, but truth is we all do. It’s just the nature of the beast…no…really. I believe that Satan throws every kind of distraction our way to keep us from fulfilling God’s plan for our lives. And the ‘distractions’ can be pretty much anything, if it’s taking our mind out of what we should be doing, then it’s a distraction. If it’s not adding to our aim in some way, then it’s a distraction. Our focus needs to be laser sharp.
3)Attitude: We can actually choose the attitude that we are going to be having through out our day, instead of letting others dictate it to us. Oh and being constantly grumpy is NOT cool. Where did we get that idea from anyway? lol. We don’t have to be wishy washy, and always allowing everyone to always walk over us. But we CAN choose our battles. We don’t have to go through life straightening everyone else out. Just let it be. Let it go, let it go…lol.
4)Our Affections: Love, connect deeply, enter into relationships. Don’t be afraid. I’m reading this book that is pretty awesome “Hiding from Love” and it goes deeper into why we ‘hide’ in the first place. I get it, we are all terrified of getting hurt. But really…what is the alternative? Shallow encounters like what this generation is embracing with ‘hook ups’ and the like, literally kills your soul. Everyone is scared silly of each other, yet it is exactly what we need for wholeness. Remember the story of Lazarus in the Bible? When Jesus calls him out of the tomb. He then asks those around him to unbind him. We too need to be ‘unbound’, and it’s only in community that this can happen. We need each other, it’s as simple as that. So…in the words of my beloved St. John Paul II, BE NOT AFRAID!
5)Our Actions:We need to be disciplined and start walking the talk. Maybe baby steps at first and then as we gain confidence we will do better. It’s not about walking in perfectly measured strides, but just moving forward.
I’ve determined that I need to make some changes in my life in order to feel ‘nourished’ in mind, body and soul. In a previous post, I listed the areas that are important to me. I’ve decided to start working on it, one area at a time…just baby steps…and hopefully I can connect with someone else out there that may be reading this and we can inspire each other.
So from that list I’ve come up with these six target areas that I need to address, so that what I believe is more in line with what I do. I will be following up on each one in greater detail as I go along. For now I’m just setting up a ‘wish list’ if you will.
1)First target area is that entire realm of health, with diet and exercise being the most predominant factors. I’m what some would consider ‘crunchy’. I believe in the power of wholesome foods and herbs for keeping us strong and healthy. I believe in embracing a fairly clean diet and exercise program as a way of life, one that provides energy and does not make me or my family ill. I believe that pharmaceuticals have a purpose, but should be kept to a minimum.Â
As an Autism mom, the book that has made the most sense to me in explaining the why as well as offering a solution is The GAPS diet. So this is what I aim for in my family…or at least The Paleo diet which is very similar and more people are familiar with it.Â
2)Intimacy with my Creator. For me as a Catholic, at the top of that list is frequent Reception of the Sacraments in a place that feels authentic. I’ve found that as a ‘sensitive soul’ a more traditional setting serves me best. I like all the bells and whistles in my Liturgy.
3)Intimacy with others. To be in relationships where I can lay it all out and feel accepted for who I am but yet challenged to be better. To be surrounded and reaffirmed by people who are similarly called. Where I can both feed and be fed and nurtured and can have a safe exchange of ideas.
4)To guide and nurture my children in the most authentic way possible. Being attentive to their special needs and distinct calling. For me, this involves choosing a homeschooling curriculum that fits our needs. And developing a method of discipline that reaches their heart.
5)To live in an organized and fairly clean setting. Surrounded by nature and beauty. Beautiful music, art and good books surround me.It means de cluttering my living spaces and putting together a cleaning schedule that works for us. A la Flylady.
6)To express my creativity and make a living at it. Productivity is of huge importance to me, as is providing financially for my family and for the things that The Lord puts in my heart of course. Right now, my photography is my passion. I believe that this is my current calling, and the tool that I’m to use to connect to others.
This video had me in tears first thing this morning. Watch it right now and you’ll see what I’m talking about.
I too have struggled with anxiety at some points in my past and more recently with depression. It is more debilitating than anyone can imagine. I really think though that it is more common than people realize, especially for the ‘sensitive soul’. We soak up all that is going on around us and it gets overwhelming. I’m hoping that as more and more people are inspired, they are able to share their stories too and we can stand together and strengthen each other. As you can see from this girl, many sensitive souls are extremely talented…it is a shame to lose them to either isolation or in the worst case scenario…suicide.
And then there’s this one. Not anxiety related…just joyful…you need to watch this beautiful bride sing to her groom.
THIS, is stepping into it. This is totally what I had in mind when I changed the name of my blog. You need to watch this. Yes, I know that I say this all the time. But you really do! And then please come tell me how awesome this is. 😀
I’m trying to live proactively, and not just accept life as it happens. So I sat down and jotted some things down. What do I like? What gives me true pleasure and peace of mind? This might seem a bit too self focused, but at the point where I am in my journey it’s what needs to be done. I need to remember myself…who I was created to be.
Life and other people…often well intentioned…seem to band together to push you down…to keep you ‘in your place’. You need to put up a struggle…the world needs you!
My Soul enrichers
* Frequent reception of the Sacraments in a place that feels authentic.
* A good diet and exercise program that will provide energy and not hurt me (paleo at the moment)
* Intimacy…relationships where I can lay it all out and feel accepted for who I am but yet am challenged to be better…be surrounded by people who are similarly called, where I can both feed and be fed and nurtured…and exchange ideas safely. A setting where I give and receive plenty of words of affirmation and appropriate physical touch.
* To express my creativity…(my photography at the moment.)
* To feel productive and useful.
* To live a simple life in an organized and fairly clean setting.
* Be surrounded by nature and beauty
* Beautiful music and art
* Good books
I’m going to tackle each of these areas individually in future posts, so stay tuned. 😉
Do you ever sing romantic songs to Jesus? I used to do it all the time, but haven’t done it in a while. Until this special song came out. It’s one of my favorites and yet not quite worthy to be sung to a mere human…so I sing it to Him, the lover of my soul, the One who does not disappoint, the One who will never leave me. The one who will indeed love me through it all. It’s a beautiful duet…a Communion Song if you will. 🙂
[Verse] (Jesus)What would I do without your smart mouth Drawing me in, and you kicking me out Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down (Me)What’s going on in that beautiful mind I’m on your magical mystery ride And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright
[Bridge] (Me)My head’s under water But I’m breathing fine (Jesus)You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind
[Chorus] (Jesus)‘Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections Give your all to me I’ll give my all to you (Me)You’re my end and my beginning Even when I lose I’m winning ‘Cause I give you all, of me And you give me all, of you
[Verse] (Jesus)How many times do I have to tell you Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too The world is beating you down, I’m around through every mood (Me)You’re my downfall, you’re my muse My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues I can’t stop singing, it’s ringing, in my head for you
[Bridge] (Me)My head’s under water But I’m breathing fine (Jesus)You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind
[Chorus] (Jesus)‘Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections Give your all to me I’ll give my all to you (Me)You’re my end and my beginning Even when I lose I’m winning ‘Cause I give you all, of me And you give me all, of you
(Jesus and me together)Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts Risking it all, though it’s hard
[Chorus] (Jesus)‘Cause all of me Loves all of you Love your curves and all your edges All your perfect imperfections Give your all to me I’ll give my all to you (Me)You’re my end and my beginning Even when I lose I’m winning ‘Cause I give you all of me And you give me all of you
(Jesus and me together)I give you all, all of me And you give me all, all of you.
The above link takes you to an article on homeschooling which is perfect for the ‘sensitive’ mom. It really captures my heart, this is what I aim for as well. I fall short of it of course…I mean very short of it…lol…but it inspires me to try harder.
I also love all the coping strategies for the sensitive mom, over at www.sortacrunchy.net, it’s basically feeding all of your senses in ways that will nourish and refresh your spirit and keeping away from that which depletes you. For me, being a very visual person…I need to keep clutter at bay and have pretty things that I enjoy looking at close by me. I love taking a walk in my garden when it is in bloom. I am very sensitive to smells as well, and do enjoy lighting up a favorite scented candle. I have to be aware of sounds too…can’t take yelling at all…loud tv noises irk me. I like the sounds of nature…birds, water…etc.
It just occurred to me that God doesn’t allow major shakedowns in our life in order to do us in, but to solidify us in our convictions. He hates ‘warm’ remember? And there is no such thing as ‘good enough’ in the spiritual realm. Sometimes there are severe cracks in the foundation and a bulldozer needs to come in…but it’s all part of the renewal project. He won’t leave us like that…all torn apart and seemingly destroyed…He’s just building a castle where a broken down hut used to be. Will we let him?
