When I feel the Lord’s call asking something new of me, I eagerly leap to it (that’s one of my adhd super powers. ;)) However, when I don’t see immediate results or it isn’t received as I had imagined, my spirit feels dejected, and my unwillingness to go forward is strong. He’s reminding me today that I need a new outlook… a clean heart, a soul cleansing. That it’s all about Him, not me and my feelings. That the joy of accomplishment that I’m seeking, comes only from Him.
“Create in me a clean heart, O God; And renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from thy presence; And take not thy holy Spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; And uphold me with a willing spirit.” – Psalm 51:10-12
St Therese put it similarly.
“If through weakness, I sometimes fall, may your Divine Glance cleanse my soul immediately, consuming all my imperfections like the fire that transforms everything into itself.”
Why? Why keep going? What’s the point?
Psalm 51: 13,15… tells us as it continues.
Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; And sinners shall be converted unto thee.
O Lord, open thou my lips; And my mouth shall show forth thy praise.
And St Therese again reiterates these words…
Oh my God! Most Blessed Trinity , I desire to love you and make you Loved... I desire to accomplish Your Will perfectly and to reach the degree of glory you have prepared for me in your kingdom.
The reason is because it’s ALL about Him and His Will, and that I’m too little to know the final outcome. He has other people out there, doing big things for Him… as for me, I need to be satisfied with the little before me. One person is reading this? One other soul resonates with what He is teaching ME?! Maybe that one soul will be the one to go on to bigger things. That is miraculous and it’s all Him, I didn’t do it, He did.
If you are that one soul. Thank you! You are in my prayers.