Uncategorized – Page 7 – Walk in Trust

Taking Ownership of Your Life

They say that when you are ready, the teachers will come. I’ve recently discovered the powerful speaker Brendan Burchard’s videos. I don’t know very much about him at all, so if there is anything negative out there…just keep it to yourself for the moment. I need to live in my bubble for a little while. lol.

In the video that I have linked to at the bottom of this page, he talks about Personal Responsibility. I’m telling you…this is EXACTLY what I needed right now. In fact, what he’s talking about here is what this entire blog is about.

I’ve mentioned my struggle with anxiety and depression HERE , and I really believe that bad habits developed throughout my life have contributed to it. As controlling and obnoxious as I can be, I’m also very needy. In other words…I’m a big baby…or I WAS. This blog is all about documenting the process of me changing into who I’m supposed to be, who the Lord created me to be.

So I’ve acknowledged my issues, I see clearly what was holding me back…so what now? I take personal responsibility for where I’m going, that’s what. 😀 Lacking that, I’ve been lacking self esteem and confidence. That leads me to feel FROZEN, unable to live up to my responsibilities in life. I feel like a victim a lot, filled with frustration and oh so lost. And yes…DEPRESSED! Sounds familiar doesn’t it? I really think this is big in our society right now.

So Brendan in this video lays out FIVE areas that we need to take responsibility for.

1)Our Aim: We need to plan out our life. Find out what we want, what we really really want. 😀 What makes you happy? What makes you energized? What gives you life? No clue? Do you have a Pinterest account? If so, go take a peek. lol. Start being proactive on what you’d like to see happen in your life. Here’s my list .

2)Our Attention:This is a big one for me. I’m all over the place. I’m always saying that I have ADD, but truth is we all do. It’s just the nature of the beast…no…really. I believe that Satan throws every kind of distraction our way to keep us from fulfilling God’s plan for our lives. And the ‘distractions’ can be pretty much anything, if it’s taking our mind out of what we should be doing, then it’s a distraction. If it’s not adding to our aim in some way, then it’s a distraction. Our focus needs to be laser sharp.

3)Attitude: We can actually choose the attitude that we are going to be having through out our day, instead of letting others dictate it to us. Oh and being constantly grumpy is NOT cool. Where did we get that idea from anyway? lol. We don’t have to be wishy washy, and always allowing everyone to always walk over us. But we CAN choose our battles. We don’t have to go through life straightening everyone else out. Just let it be. Let it go, let it go…lol.

4)Our Affections: Love, connect deeply, enter into relationships. Don’t be afraid. I’m reading this book that is pretty awesome “Hiding from Love” and it goes deeper into why we ‘hide’ in the first place. I get it, we are all terrified of getting hurt. But really…what is the alternative? Shallow encounters like what this generation is embracing with ‘hook ups’ and the like, literally kills your soul. Everyone is scared silly of each other, yet it is exactly what we need for wholeness. Remember the story of Lazarus in the Bible? When Jesus calls him out of the tomb. He then asks those around him to unbind him. We too need to be ‘unbound’, and it’s only in community that this can happen. We need each other, it’s as simple as that. So…in the words of my beloved St. John Paul II, BE NOT AFRAID!

5)Our Actions:We need to be disciplined and start walking the talk. Maybe baby steps at first and then as we gain confidence we will do better. It’s not about walking in perfectly measured strides, but just moving forward.

Watch Brenden’s Video Here

Distributism

This is sort of a follow up to my political post earlier. It seems to jive well with my own views from what I’m hearing. However I really don’t know much about it, but would like to learn more. What do you think?

Getting all political

Proposed ban on high heels

I read the above silly article this morning and started thinking about our political system here in the United States, especially that of the liberal left. They come up with ideas So GOOD, that they would like to force everyone to comply. However, this ‘forcing’ their will on the people has been done…pick up a history book folks…and it has not gone well. Government of course does have its place, I’m not advocating anarchy. But how about keeping it in place to ENSURE people’s freedoms such as in ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness’. Our founding fathers were extremely intelligent and thoughtful in putting it together and were very passionate about seeing it through. In fact it was this very freedom that was the foundation of this great country and why so many still seek it within it’s borders today.

I understand how many voted for the current president wanting ‘change’ when all they really needed to do was pack their bags. That’s what my parents did when they brought my family here when I was only seven years old..legally…I might add. I’m not saying that what we had didn’t need improvement. Of course it did, even those that call themselves conservative (wanting to conserve what’s good..get it?)often act like socialists.

Then that brings us to the question ‘what’s so bad about socialism anyway’? Distribution of wealth sounds amazingly good to the good hearted soul. In fact I, a staunch conservative try to practice it in my own life as much as it is possible for my situation in life. Ahhhh…and there’s the rub…that freedom thing again. An idea so good that we should force it? At what price?

What socialism tries to do is create a utopia here on earth through legislation…all the while trying it’s hardest to replace the Judeo/Christian worldview. See…the difference is free will. I’ll try to give you an example. Let’s visit a family of four. Mom, dad and their two children. One is living under a socialist regime. Mom and dad both have to go to work because the majority of their pay check goes off to the government. They in turn need to put their children in government funded programs as soon as possible, so that both parents can be making money to manage their family. Children learn in such environment…well…pretty much anything government so chooses. Freedom? Well…not so much for anyone else who may have a different view of how their life should go. What about helping your neighbor and those in need? Sorry…no time…besides ‘we gave at the office’…that’s what the government is for isn’t it?

Family number two lives under a democracy (not to be confused with Democrats…lol)that is run within a conservative administration. Taxes are minimal, meaning that it may be possible for the family to skimp and save and be able to live within a single income. Meaning that one parent can now stay home and raise and teach their own children. It means that the world that they are striving to live in, is one created by the family unit and not imposed on them from the outside. Hence…FREEDOM! No…things are not handed to them. Hard work is definitely a part of it, but so isn’t a sense of responsibility and accomplishment. Something that we have definitely lost in recent years. Now back to those less fortunate…what happens to them without government aid. Well, supposing that the majority of them have family, friends, parishes etc…those are the best people to help out. For those that don’t…and there ARE dire situations that require government assistance…the small amount given to the government will help in those cases as well as church and other private charity funds.

I really believe that our biggest differences don’t come from what we’d like to see accomplished…but on how to go about it.

Six Steps to Wholeness

I’ve determined that I need to make some changes in my life in order to feel ‘nourished’ in mind, body and soul. In a previous post, I listed the areas that are important to me. I’ve decided to start working on it, one area at a time…just baby steps…and hopefully I can connect with someone else out there that may be reading this and we can inspire each other.

So from that list I’ve come up with these six target areas that I need to address, so that what I believe is more in line with what I do. I will be following up on each one in greater detail as I go along. For now I’m just setting up a ‘wish list’ if you will.

1)First target area is that entire realm of health, with diet and exercise being the most predominant factors. I’m what some would consider ‘crunchy’. I believe in the power of wholesome foods and herbs for keeping us strong and healthy. I believe in embracing a fairly clean diet and exercise program as a way of life, one that provides energy and does not make me or my family ill. I believe that pharmaceuticals have a purpose, but should be kept to a minimum.

As an Autism mom, the book that has made the most sense to me in explaining the why as well as offering a solution is The GAPS diet. So this is what I aim for in my family…or at least The Paleo diet which is very similar and more people are familiar with it.

The Paleo Cure

2)Intimacy with my Creator. For me as a Catholic, at the top of that list is frequent Reception of the Sacraments in a place that feels authentic. I’ve found that as a ‘sensitive soul’ a more traditional setting serves me best. I like all the bells and whistles in my Liturgy.

3)Intimacy with others. To be in relationships where I can lay it all out and feel accepted for who I am but yet challenged to be better. To be surrounded and reaffirmed by people who are similarly called. Where I can both feed and be fed and nurtured and can have a safe exchange of ideas.

4)To guide and nurture my children in the most authentic way possible. Being attentive to their special needs and distinct calling. For me, this involves choosing a homeschooling curriculum that fits our needs. And developing a method of discipline that reaches their heart.

5)To live in an organized and fairly clean setting. Surrounded by nature and beauty. Beautiful music, art and good books surround me.It means de cluttering my living spaces and putting together a cleaning schedule that works for us. A la Flylady.

6)To express my creativity and make a living at it.
Productivity is of huge importance to me, as is providing financially for my family and for the things that The Lord puts in my heart of course. Right now, my photography is my passion. I believe that this is my current calling, and the tool that I’m to use to connect to others.

Old Blog Posts

I have been looking through my old blog and found some post from 2006 when my son (then four) was hospitalized for swallowing magnets. This is one example of why I prefer blogs over Facebook for more serious writing. The whole story is there, preserved…as it happened. I’m so grateful that I get to take a peek back and see all that The Lord has brought us through.

http://lifeundermarysmantle.blogspot.com/2006/10/in-icu.html

Just Be Yourself

I have this problem when dealing with people…ok…so most probably wouldn’t see it as a problem, but for someone so focused on being authentic it is. It’s that when I first meet someone, people automatically want to paint me with a halo. My stories are good and I’m very drawn to beauty, and holiness appeals to me…so that’s the story that comes out first…I get it. What they do not realize, and perhaps what I am most cautious with, is the fact that the other side also beckons me. Meaning…I’m HUMAN!

The problem arises due to the fact that people then develop certain expectations, which I then strive to meet. However no one is all one thing or the other…at least no one this side of heaven. We are all a beautiful mixture. Yes beautiful…because it is exactly our flaws that allow for grace to come in and do its work. So why not embrace transparency? I’m not saying to flaunt our flaws, or pridefully resist change…heck no. We should always strive for better…but you can’t force it on yourself. We can’t force it on anyone else either. How about if we were to just embrace each other…warts and all?

Isn’t that what soul friends do? We see each other as flowers when the world would consider us weeds.

Hallelujah

This video had me in tears first thing this morning. Watch it right now and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

I too have struggled with anxiety at some points in my past and more recently with depression. It is more debilitating than anyone can imagine. I really think though that it is more common than people realize, especially for the ‘sensitive soul’. We soak up all that is going on around us and it gets overwhelming. I’m hoping that as more and more people are inspired, they are able to share their stories too and we can stand together and strengthen each other. As you can see from this girl, many sensitive souls are extremely talented…it is a shame to lose them to either isolation or in the worst case scenario…suicide.

And then there’s this one. Not anxiety related…just joyful…you need to watch this beautiful bride sing to her groom.

http://www.godvine.com/This-Bride-Had-The-Best-Surprise-For-fb-gv-5501.html

Puritas Cordis
June 9, 2012

Purity of Heart, one of the charisms of our Carmelite Spirituality. But what does it really mean, and how does it apply to the lay person.

When we speak of purity of heart to the average Catholic, the message of sexual purity is inferred. However, Puritas Cordis goes way beyond that. Think of Our Blessed Mother. Yes, she was pure in the context stated above…but her freedom from sin was total and complete. Her heart burned wholly for God and His will…and grace abounded.

We are all created with a God-shaped hole in our soul. It is so deep and profound and like St. Augustine said “we are restless until we rest in thee”. This realization of what we are craving comes to the soul of an individual at different stages of the journey. Often times some ‘desert time’ is required. This path can be extremely painful, because it is only through the detachment process that we see that only He is enough, and truly what our heart is desiring in the first place. You cannot feel hunger if you keep yourself stationed at the buffet table.

There is an old country song that whines about ‘looking for love in too many faces’. That is exactly what a heart that is searching for God goes through. We hunger for fulfillment, and completeness, for meaning and purpose, to be told that we are worthy and beautiful. We turn to our idols, our self made golden calves and ask them to supply these things. Their answer at first is intoxicating, it appears to supply all of our needs and we keep going back for more. What started out as a choice now becomes a compulsion! We thirst and these idols keep us thirsty. It doesn’t matter what your particular drug of choice is…we humans are so ingenious, we can create idols out of anything. It is that thing that we keep going back to, time and time again…expecting that this time finally our heart will be content. For some it is food, for others alcohol, drugs, sex, money, power…you get the picture.

It is the apple in the garden of Eden all over again. That’s what the ultimate temptation was about…yes, it was about disobedience…but it was also about seeking answers to life separate from God. His rules are set up for our own protection. They are not there to punish us, but to insure that we get the very best. When I make rules for my kids to not eat junk food, it’s not because I am mean and want to see them suffer. I merely want them to be nourished properly. I want the very best for them. I know that the junk food will take away their appetite for what is good and healthy.

Created things are not bad in and of them selves; it is the distortion in our heart that causes harm. We become greedy with a ‘give me’ attitude. We seek His Hand and stop seeking His Face. It causes harm in the sense that it becomes a distraction from loving God and in turn our brothers fully, and keeps us from receiving all that He wants to give to us. We set ourselves up as our own God, seeking pleasures outside of His boundaries and His Providence. We see everything and everyone as a vessel to fulfill these needs.

One of my favorite stories is about a little girl who so desperately wanted a plastic pearl necklace. She saw just the one in a store window for 25 cents and saved up her pennies to acquire it. She treasured that necklace and held on tight to it. Every night her daddy would tuck her in to bed and ask her for the necklace. Every night the response was the same…oh no daddy, why don’t you take my dolly, or any of my other toys…but not my necklace. The loving daddy would just give her a kiss on the forehead and wish her good night. This played out the same way for a while, until one night the child finally gave in. In tears she took off the old fake pearls which were turning her neck black my now and handed them to her loving daddy. He held her close and as he took her fake pearls with one hand, he was extending the other to deliver to her a beautiful necklace of real pearls that he had been saving for her.

My brothers and sisters in Carmel, the Lord loves us so much that He isn’t satisfied until we are fully partaking in all that He has in store for us…and we shouldn’t be either. This is only accomplished with a pure heart. He gladly takes all of our ‘fake pearls’, and wants so desperately to bejewel us with the real thing, true love!

This isn’t accomplished simply by trying harder or doing better…but by being still and letting it sink in how much our Heavenly Father loves us and how much He has already given and still wants to give to us. We need to be able to live simply in the present moment with a heart filled with appreciation for what is. This is why the track through the desert becomes indispensible; it helps us to focus and removes our blinders.

The path to holiness is not easy but the good news is that He has left us with His Holy Catholic Church which provides the Sacraments that we need for true nourishment…especially that of Reconciliation and the Eucharist. He also sends His angels to minister to us; the importance of community is undeniable…our families, holy friendships and our spiritual communities are all there to support us in this sacred journey towards Holiness.

How Much Does Your Soul Weigh?: Diet-Free Solutions to Your Food, Weight, and Body Worries

A friend just recommended this book to me and it looks like the type of thing that I’m into. Those of you who have been with me for a while know about my journey with weight loss and subsequent regain. But what I learned with programs like Weigh Down and Thin Within, has stayed with me and has lead me forward. So what I’m reading here so far seems to go with that quite well.

This ‘intuitive self care’ is what I as a Catholic Christian call ‘living a life of grace’. Allowing The Lord, to the best of my ability, to lead me forth in all areas of my life. Can’t wait to dig in further. I will keep you all posted. 😀

Egssactly!!!

They say that Autism parenting carries with it a comparable stress level to that of a soldier.See article here. I believe it! It’s not usually big things…it’s the constant barrage of the little stuff…the splat of an egg for instance.

I’m in the school room which is open to the kitchen. I hear ‘splat’ and I tense up and think ‘oh crap, not again’ ok…not those exact words but I do have to edit myself a bit, I don’t know who may be reading this…lol. I approach my son, knowing exactly what just happened. And lo and behold there it is…a splattered egg on my kitchen floor.

Now here is the question that beckons asking. Why? This child doesn’t even like eggs. Won’t even take a single bite. So what does he like? He likes…well brace yourself for this…he likes juggling them. Yes…I’m going to hide in shame for not having been able to ‘fix’ this little problem yet. See…that’s what Autism moms do…or maybe it’s just me…but we wallow in shame and self condemnation. There is certainly a secret or a key, that will just magically make all of this ok…right? I’m just too blind to have discovered it yet. 🙁