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“Enter the madness and laugh. Go in the deep and feel the fear. Experience the darkness and cry. But know that through all of it, I am with you.”

This was another message from my retreat…I needed to hear them again. I suffer with episodes of severe depression and as I stand here this afternoon on the precipice of another pit…He reminded me of these truths. Yes the tears are flowing freely and yes He is with me. Even here…in this dark place…this dark road…He is with me…and there is light and vibrant colors ahead.

I want to take a few minutes to thank everyone who has put their trust in me and has helped to further my photography business. Particularly those closest to me who had a hand in its inception. Like my friend Kristin who asked me to shoot an event even before I had inklings that I could actually do this. Rick from R.J. DeSanctis Entertainment who was great at encouraging me to give this thing a go and gave me a wonderful start in event photography. The great Wendy Cukierski who hired me early on to handle some of her advertisements. My sweet cousin Luisa, who always goes above and beyond in her support of me. My dear friend Kety who has become a loyal client. And other friends galore, who have either hired me, spread the word about my business or helped with some part of it…Cassie, Kristen, Mel…gosh…the list is way too long to mention everyone. And last but not least, every single member of my family…including my husband who has been incredibly supportive. So please know that I love and appreciate you all so much! I’ve decided to do this drawing in honor of all of you. I hope that I can continue to do you all proud. I still need each of you securely in my corner…son don’t go any where. 😉

Please click on the rafflecopter  link below to enter. The winner will receive a coupon from me for a FREE 11X14 photo from the following Landscape  gallery.

Go here to enter the giveaway –> http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/32d87c5b1/

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“You think that you are here to just receive. But your presence here is a gift also. It brings life to those who live here. Thank you for bringing My Mother to them, through your femininity  and piety.”

At times I wondered if our presence there was an imposition…I felt like I was treading on Sacred ground. The Lord assured me that this was not so, that I was very welcomed there and an important part of the picture. He also made me aware that my attire was pleasing to Him. I veil and I also specifically felt called to wear longer skirts throughout the week. Unlike what many people think…that veiling and such brings attention to those who wear it, in actuality it does the exact opposite…the attention goes back to Him who is present before us.

I was reminded this morning that I’ve gotten a little behind in posting my reflections. All in God’s timing though, right?

So the next ‘message’…I’m calling these messages, but I’m assuming that you all know what I’m talking about, right? Nothing audible or too out there folks. 😉 Just what I was feeling God speak to me, in my own heart at that special moment. I’m just feeling lead to share these…and hopefully they can inspire someone else to listen to Him also. If anything, I want to lead you to Him and not to anything of my own thoughts or ‘messages’…got it? Ok…here it goes then. 🙂

“Whatever you feel you need…bring it to the “offering table”. It is in giving that you receive!”

As a Catholic, I’m quite familiar with  the concept of  ‘offering it up’…but the idea of an ‘offering table’…which I’m assuming is the ‘altar’…was a new one for me.  This also made me think of the widow’s last mite. He was telling me to not be afraid and to just give it all to HIM! To let go and to trust Him with my needs.

For example I’m often plagued with loneliness. In my heart He was telling me to stop clinging to relationships. To just ‘give’…to love others without needing them to love me back…and to start with those closest to me. Not in an unhealthy way of course…because sometimes the best way to love someone is from a distance. 😉

Once while sitting in the dark chapel listening to the monks chanting, the Lord spoke to my heart again. “What you are witnessing here is my heart pulsating strongly. Its echoes reverberate across the world, right into your own homes.”

This message was reaffirmed later in the week, someone else who had done the retreat had received the very same message.

While we busily go about our life out here, we have spiritual warriors interceding for us at all ours of day and night. Hold on to that thought when you feel alone.

Imagine for a moment that you were given a precious little puppy as a well meaning gift (from God Himself). He is absolutely adorable, with big wide eyes and filled with so much energy and a beating heart filled with so much love to give. You however, are not ready to be a care giver for a puppy. You live in a small apartment, you work late hours…the reasons are multiple and varied and very, very personal to you. So you make the gut wrenching decision to take him down to the nearest clinic and have him put to sleep. You somehow managed to convince yourself that this really is the best thing not only for yourself but for the puppy also. I mean…what kind of life could he possible have. You want the very best for him of course. Your friends will not tell you differently…even if they think differently…they don’t want to upset you further and want to be ‘supportive’ of whatever choice you make.

Here’s what they are keeping from you. There’s a couple just down the street who have two children and they would just LOVE that extra addition to their family. There is another woman sitting in her home across town just yearning  to give all her love to a new puppy. Your puppy can indeed have a wonderful life without you…but it IS your choice.

It is your choice because this country has somehow managed to be ok with the senseless killing of innocent, perfectly healthy puppies…so you wouldn’t be breaking this country’s laws. (however moral laws are quite a different thing). So think about it…is this the BEST that you can do with your CHOICE? Can you for a minute allow the possibility that that puppy came into your life for a reason…perhaps not for you…but for you to be able to pass him on to just the right person that is so ready and may have been waiting for quite some time? Can you make the CHOICE of becoming a VEHICLE of GRACE? 

Now…just substitute ‘baby’ for ‘puppy’ and give it some thought.