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“The LORD God gave man this order:
“You are free to eat from any of the trees of the garden
except the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
From that tree you shall not eat;
the moment you eat from it you are surely doomed to die.””

via USCCB | NAB – February 9, 2011.

My Pastor, Fr. Ron often says that in the beginning we were told ‘do not eat’ and we ate…now Jesus comes and gives us His Body and says ‘take and eat’…and we don’t! 

My mind and soul have been filled with thoughts about food and struggling to understand what the Lord wants from me. Why does food matter so much to Him anyway. Why did He create us with this need to eat…He could have just made it so that we didn’t need constant nourishment. Or, He didn’t have to make it so enjoyable! Ha…that certainly would have been easier.

Na…all He does is perfect! This longing in our bellie for food is representative of the longing in our hearts…for Him! He cares about what nourishes us…not only our bodies, but our souls. He made all things good…but He also gave us boundaries so that we can get the most out of it. Those same things that He created for our good can be abused and mis-used. We need to bring it all under His authority. Be in submission to His Divine Will!

If He tells us to not eat and we do…the food may not kill our bodies…but the disobedience will most certainly kill our spirits. Also when He calls us to the Eucharistic Table and we refuse.

“Bodily mortification. For Teresa(of Avila) I pulled out these four. The habit. By the way, not only as you know, do all good Carmelites wear the habit. Do you know not all Carmelites now do, including cloistered nuns? That’s right. I was told by a prelate at a meeting of contemplatives there were not a few in pant suits. These are cloistered contemplatives. And some puffing away. In any case, the habit. And she made sure it was a mortification. Remember, it was of what kind of…of fine silk? Wool, and there is woolen wool. Fasting, as you know severe fast, abstinence from meat and fasting. Who knows when the Carmelite fast begins? But it starts much sooner. It begins on the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. In other words, most of the year is spent in fasting. Then silence. Now while silence is hard to keep for both men and women, you appreciate this is part of the spirituality. For people who naturally prefer to talk, silence can be a severe mortification. And finally enclosure. Enclosure as we know is not only protection, it is for our purpose here, mortification.”

via Fr. Hardon Archives – St. Teresa of Avila and the Carmelite Reform.

How these four can be translated for those of us living out in the world.

1)Habit:  I can’t wear the habit…but I can offer to the Lord my choice of clothes. To wear what will glorify and please Him.

2)Fasting and Abstinence: Eating small and simple meals and abstaining from meat from September 14th (which is also my anniversary…lol) until Easter time…except for Sundays and Feast Days.

3)Silence: Quiet time seems like a good idea. Maybe setting aside some time during the day where I shut off the computer. phone and all electronic gadgets.

4)Enclosure: I can make my home more of a priority, where I center my life around it instead of always being out and about.

“Then God said,
“Let the earth bring forth vegetation:
every kind of plant that bears seed
and every kind of fruit tree on earth
that bears fruit with its seed in it.”
And so it happened:
the earth brought forth every kind of plant that bears seed
and every kind of fruit tree on earth that
bears fruit with its seed in it.
God saw how good it was.
Evening came, and morning followed–the third day.”

via USCCB | NAB – February 7, 2011.

There is a specific directive that He has been putting into my mind and spirit for quite some time. It has to do with growing a veggie garden. Not sure what His plans are, because I certainly don’t have much of a green thumb. My grandpa did, and my mom did…but it stopped there. So…prayers would be appreciated since there are some logistics that need to be attended to first.

“Brothers and sisters:
Through Jesus, let us continually offer God a sacrifice of praise,
that is, the fruit of lips that confess his name.
Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have;
God is pleased by sacrifices of that kind.”

via USCCB | NAB – February 5, 2011.

To sacrifice…to bring something to God’s altar (the way Abraham brought Isaac) and ‘offer it up’. We have nothing of our own that could ever be good enough to present to Him…or do we? So we bring ourselves and lay ourselves upon His altar. Our lips to offer Him praise…our lives to glorify Him…our hands and bodies to serve Him. We bring all our earthly posessions and all our gifts and we lay them down to be used for His purposes. We don’t need to fear losing in this loving exchange…we can’t outgive God…it’s a win-win situation.

Heb13:1-8

“Let brotherly love continue.
Do not neglect hospitality,
for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels.”

via USCCB | NAB – February 4, 2011.

I’m in the middle of reading http://crazylovebook.com/ 

and it is getting very ‘uncomfortable’. I can feel my boundaries expanding and it hurts. The conviction  hurts, the un-certainty of it all hurts. I’m living in a house that is too big and too full of things yet very empty of people. My parents raised seven children in a house 1/3 the size of this. There were neighbors and friends constantly coming and going. No one visits here…unless I send out engraved invitations (only half kidding). 

 I don’t yet understand where all of this is taking me…but something needs to change. I crave simplicity and freedom from things in order to live the radical Christian life.

“Why does Jesus tell the apostles to “travel light” with little or no provision? “Poverty of spirit” frees us from greed and preoccupation with possessions and makes ample room for God’s provision. The Lord wants his disciples to be dependent on him and not on themselves. He wills to work through and in each of us for his glory. Are you ready to handle the power and authority which God wishes you to exercise on his behalf? The Lord entrusts us with his gifts and talents. Are you eager to place yourself at his service, to do whatever he bids you, and to witness his truth and saving power to whomever he sends you? ”

via Daily Scripture Readings and Meditations.

I’ve heard it said in the past that if you have a phone book then you have a ministry…I guess these days we could say ‘if you have a facebook account then you have a ministry’. How do we minister to our family and friends? I believe the Lord speaks to each of us and shows us exactly what and how to do it. One way the Lord is showing me, is to just be open and transparent and willing to share all that God does in my own life. He has put us here for each other, so that together we can glorify Him. That IS the purpose of life afterall.

As I sat down for my afternoon snack and gobbled down two chocolate chip cookies…I felt the Lord saying to me…”not this either”.  I often choose the easy way out because…well…it’s easier. Exercising and eating properly takes dicipline, so does cleaning up after everyone, and setting boundaries for the kids is just plain hard. But “easy” and comfortable is not where God is at either. I should do everything as if for the Lord…without worrying about outcome, rewards or consequences.

Imitation of Christ

“Consider nothing great, nothing acceptable to you, unless it be God Himself, or of God.”

How does this apply to ME? What types of things am I struggling for in my own flesh? With God as my co-pilot perhaps, but certainly NOT with Him in the drivers seat?

This reminds me of St. John of the Cross’ ‘Nada Path’. I have my own Mt. Carmel to climb. I look at “clean and organized home” and have to say “nope…not this”. I look at “health and fitness” and have to chuck that to the side also. “Perfect kids that always behave properly?”  Ha…absolutely not.  All these things as good as they are in and of themselves mean nothing. Wasting my efforts on any of these is a big waste of my time and energy…that leaves me feeling nothing but anxious and totally drained. However…I am told to seek first the kingdom and then all these things shall be added on to me.

I love you Jesus…and seek You and not Your hand. You are loving and extremely generous…but may that not be the basis of our relationship.

Imitation of Christ

“Those who are turned to God consider the care of themselves before all other cares; and looking seriously to themselves, they find it easy to be silent about the deeds of others.”

Ofcourse this is not telling us to be selfish…what it is saying is that we have to be more concerned with our own spiritual life and our own walk of obedience then what other people may or may not be doing. This is a grave sin that we “church people” can fall into if we are not careful. It’s not that we should’t care about our fellow brothers and sisters…it’s just that sometimes we need to show more then talk.

Lasting change comes from the quietness of our soul. The place where recognition, acceptance and forgiveness happens and where grace flourishes. When I can look at me and around me, see the little messes that are part of my life and be able to say “it is what it is” take it Lord and use it for Your purposes…only then true and holy change can take place.

I like the saying “I’m not where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be…I’m ok and I’m on my way.”