Category: Step 6

Marriage

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I am SO tempted at this point to just say ‘sorry, I’ve got nothing for ya’. Seriously…this has been where the deepest growth in my life is taking place right now…and if you are a Christian you are well aware that growth only takes place in the darkest of places. First of all, if you know us personally, I don’t want you to come out of this thinking ‘oh my gosh, they are going to split up’. This is all me folks…I’m lucky to be married to the most caring, understanding human being on the plant. It is my menopausal, hormonal, self evaluating, mid life crisis. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then this might not be the article for you. I realize that I’m writing to a very select few…and still I carry on…out of obedience to what the Lord is putting in my heart. No answers at this point…mostly questions…and lots of ‘thoughts’ strung together. So again I apologize if this one makes no sense.

First of all I will start with ‘submission’. As a devout Catholic Christian and a lover of ‘obedience’ to the word of God and His Church, this is something that I am big on. I know without a doubt that there is a line of authority and as we submit ourselves to it, then we really can’t go wrong in God’s eyes. Graces abound! However, let me tell you that we in our human frailty can get this very wrong. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to rub some people the wrong way. Sorry…that is not my intent.

The place I was at in my head was an ideal place where husband is head of the household and wife and children submit to his rule. How can you go wrong, right? Well…here’s what happens, if your spouse isn’t familiar with Christian leadership…and really isn’t hearing from God much at all…but you are. You die! No…not in the Christian ‘die to self’…but in the ‘commit spiritual suicide’ and just curl into a clump, because my interior life does not fit my exterior. You can get away with this for quite a few years, in the name of peace and family unity…and even Christian suffering…or however you want to justify it. But here’s the deal. This is not God’s will. You are important to God’s plan, you are valued, you are loved.

What SUBMISSION really means is to be UNDER (sub) someone’s ‘MISSION’. Supposedly you meet someone with the same mission in life as you…you join forces through marriage where the two become one (powerful stuff)…and since you can’t have two heads…and the way men and women were created…the husband leads. But remember you are under the same mission, so he won’t be taking you anywhere that you don’t want to go. You are in it together…head and body… working together!

That’s the ideal…that’s what a sacramental marriage should entail. If you don’t have that…don’t worry, at least not yet. I believe that God can reach us wherever we are and give us enough grace to do whatever He has asked of us. So maybe breaking it up into baby steps might be helpful. What is your joint mission? Obviously raising a family is the number one priority of any marriage. If you are Catholic and don’t see this as being true, I’d suggest you read more about it. Although not all marriages will bear fruit, but the openness to it is of utmost importance.

Raising a family when you and your spouse share very different world views can be extremely difficult, but not impossible. This is where my view and that of more conservative Christians part way. I’ve mentioned before about my adherence to the submissive role. Which was very easy for me being married to a very easy going guy, by the way. However, that ‘easy goingness’ can translate to a lack of leadership. So instead of a head and a body…you may find yourself with two bodies…you don’t really go anywhere that way either and can get yourself into a heap of trouble. I think that if the wife is a stronger Christian, in this case it is perfectly ok for her to take on the reigns for a bit. The husband may then pick up on some cues and eventually be prepared to lead…or not. What is important is that your household, your family be Spirit lead! You obviously can’t make your spouse follow your lead, this is what I was referring before about us being created differently. But keep doing what is best for you and your household to the best of your ability anyway and keep offering it up. Don’t be afraid of what might happen…God’s graces will cover it! So…keep stepping into it! 😉

Six Steps to Wholeness

www.essydphoto.com
www.essydphoto.com

I’ve determined that I need to make some changes in my life in order to feel ‘nourished’ in mind, body and soul. In a previous post, I listed the areas that are important to me. I’ve decided to start working on it, one area at a time…just baby steps…and hopefully I can connect with someone else out there that may be reading this and we can inspire each other.

So from that list I’ve come up with these six target areas that I need to address, so that what I believe is more in line with what I do. I will be following up on each one in greater detail as I go along. For now I’m just setting up a ‘wish list’ if you will.

1)First target area is that entire realm of health, with diet and exercise being the most predominant factors. I’m what some would consider ‘crunchy’. I believe in the power of wholesome foods and herbs for keeping us strong and healthy. I believe in embracing a fairly clean diet and exercise program as a way of life, one that provides energy and does not make me or my family ill. I believe that pharmaceuticals have a purpose, but should be kept to a minimum. 

As an Autism mom, the book that has made the most sense to me in explaining the why as well as offering a solution is The GAPS diet. So this is what I aim for in my family…or at least The Paleo diet which is very similar and more people are familiar with it. 

The Paleo Cure

2)Intimacy with my Creator. For me as a Catholic, at the top of that list is frequent Reception of the Sacraments in a place that feels authentic. I’ve found that as a ‘sensitive soul’ a more traditional setting serves me best. I like all the bells and whistles in my Liturgy.

3)Intimacy with others. To be in relationships where I can lay it all out and feel accepted for who I am but yet challenged to be better. To be surrounded and reaffirmed by people who are similarly called. Where I can both feed and be fed and nurtured and can have a safe exchange of ideas.

4)To guide and nurture my children in the most authentic way possible. Being attentive to their special needs and distinct calling. For me, this involves choosing a homeschooling curriculum that fits our needs. And developing a method of discipline that reaches their heart.

5)To live in an organized and fairly clean setting. Surrounded by nature and beauty. Beautiful music, art and good books surround me.It means de cluttering my living spaces and putting together a cleaning schedule that works for us. A la Flylady.

6)To express my creativity and make a living at it.
Productivity is of huge importance to me, as is providing financially for my family and for the things that The Lord puts in my heart of course. Right now, my photography is my passion. I believe that this is my current calling, and the tool that I’m to use to connect to others.