The daily grind of an ADHD contemplative, in her 6th decade of this pilgrimage called life.
Lasting change comes from the quietness of our soul. The place where recognition, acceptance and forgiveness happens and where grace flourishes. When I can look at me and around me, see the little messes that are part of my life and be able to say “it is what it is” take it Lord and use it for Your purposes…only then true and holy change can take place.
I like the saying “I’m not where I need to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be…I’m ok and I’m on my way.”
“If we want to live in true freedom from the power of sin and Satan, then our ‘house’ – our mind and heart and whatever we allow to control our appetites and desires – must be occupied and ruled by Jesus Christ where he is enthroned as Lord and Savior. Do you know the peace and security of a life submitted to God and his word?”
This is God’s word for me today. And what exactly is my business? Why, to do the will of my Father ofcourse.
This morning during my daughter’s (8 yrs old) religion class (we homeschool) we were discussing the role of prophets. One of her assignments was to write down what she thinks the Lord would have her tell His people if she were a prophet(ess?). She wrote…”Jesus is coming. Read the Bible.” I had to chuckle…because that is basically it in a nutshell.
Then just now I was reading the following from Mark Mallett…
http://www.markmallett.com/blog/2011/01/of-china/
And it reminded me of a very weird dream that I had this past week…that we had been invaded by some Asian country (I thought it was Japan…but I guess it could have been China) and there was a second country involved helping them out…I got a sense that it was Russia. What do I make out of all of this? I really don’t know. I do think that the only thing that we have to ‘worry’ about is to love God with our whole hearts and our neighbor as our selves. And yes…God as a loving Father does discipline His children and offers tough love when necessary…because He is more interested in our soul then in our present comfort. So…fear not!
Sometimes ‘loving’ others doesn’t look so amiable to the onlooker. I came to this conclusion as I was disciplining my son this morning…sigh. Love sometimes includes saying no, walking away, speaking up, all things that can be very difficult to do if our aim is to please others. However pleasing and loving are two very different things. One wants the best for the moment, the other for eternity.
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”
via Passage: Luke 10:25-37 (ESV Bible Online).
My prayers took the form of “So Lord, exactly what are you asking of me here? Am I to go out and seek the poorest of the poor like Mother Teresa? How far do I have to travel…where do you want me to go?”
His reply to me was shorter and to the point “Just love those that I send to you”. Wow…so simple and yet so difficult. I’m saddened to think of all the missed opportunities. All the times that He sent someone my way and I reacted with anything but love. Lord help me to start anew.
Quite a bit, apparently.
Dear Lord, I’m so lacking in this area. I’m not even sure of what Christian love really entails. I’m timid and fearful and with 100 other emotions tossed in. I need You Lord…”I want to know what love is, and I want You to show me”.
Dear Lord, all I need is the grace to hear Your voice and Obey It!
Letting go of my will and my expectations and my perfectionism and desire for control is difficult. When I started this path I had a very precise view of where I wanted it to lead. I wanted God to just fix IT and make things easier on me. However He’s much more interested in the condition of my soul then the condition of my house…or even my body. Not that He doesn’t care about those things because He absolutely does…but He has priorities and a clean soul trumps a clean house any day.
So…now what?
I was just reading some blogs and came across the words “do what you can and God will make up the difference”. This is exactly the message I needed. The work load…my home, parenting, the world…all seems overwhelming at the moment. And it is, if I keep focusing on the entire picture…but it’s not all up to me. I’m not to take God’s job away from Him (as if I could). I’m just to do what I can…and it will be enough. I give my tiny loaf and God does His thing and multiplies it and makes it enough. Maybe not in the eyes of others…but then again ‘they’ are not the ones that matter. I pray to be able to see myself and my situation through God’s eyes.