Whirlwind Week (brain dump)

    The week started and finished with my heart in pieces…grieving the loss of loved ones, particularly my dad. Sunday the 6th was the 7th anniversary of his passing, and then the 10th was his birthday, and then of course today the 11th just opens up all types of old wounds about losing loved ones. It’s like walking around constantly with a piece of you missing.  

But then there were a few highs thrown in there for good measure too.  On Tuesday the 8th (Our Blessed Mother’s Birthday) I did my re consecration to Jesus through Mary! It means that I trust our mother to lead me to Jesus since she knows her Son the best. I’ll have to do a separate blog post about that.   

As a result of this 33 day preparation, I believe Our Mother gave me a precious gift. Newer insights into some persistent, long term issues. I was lead to read “Driven to Distraction” by Edward Hallowell, MD. And am now seeing so many things in a different light…again…enough there for its own blog post at some point. 

We are also about to leave on a road trip, so there is packing and the usual worrying that accompanies such things. I hope to be periscoping parts of it, so if you don’t yet have the app…get it so you don’t miss out on all the excitement. 😉 If you don’t see me as much on Facebook or other social media sites, this is why. It will be easier to just compose an update here in the blog and then just disperse it accordingly. 

St. Stephan of Hungary Pray for Us

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At Mass this morning, Fr. David spoke about St. Stephan of Hungary, when I heard the (Hungary) part and that he was some how related to St. Adelaide, I suspected that he may be one of my ancestors as well. St. Adelaide as some of you may remember is my 32nd great aunt. Well I just looked up St. Stephan and it turns out that he is a direct ancestor…my 31’st great grand father. I kind of hope that the portions of my DNA  that originated in that area comes from him…wouldn’t it be cool if someday genetics does get that precise? For now it’s enough to know that I’m here because of him…and I’m grateful.

By the way it turns out that Saint Adelaide is Saint Stephan’s wife’s great aunt. 🙂

Any other genealogy enthusiasts reading this?

Home Routines


This is my favorite app, ever. It is where I keep track of my ‘steps’…or my ‘rule’, if you are familiar with A Mother’s Rule of Life.

I’m not always the best at sticking to it 100% but it’s really super helpful to have these boundaries set up, to call me back to task when my mind escapes from my duties. It gives me the support I need, and yet still leaves me with enough leeway for some ‘God Breezes’ as the Flylady would say.

I’d love to tell you more about how I set up mine, so I’ll probably do a periscope on it some time today. If you are a Periscope user make sure that you are following me @ Essy Dias, and feel free to leave me some questions here.

Home Routines by Wunderbearhttps://appsto.re/us/6scdv.i

The sky is falling, the sky is falling

imageWhile the world goes completely psychotic with potential crashes in the stock market, Isis looking to annihilate us, Planned Parenthood dismembering babies and selling them off piece by piece and everyone looking the other way while our government funds them…things seem dire indeed. So we have three options available to us. 1) which seems to be the flavor du jour, just ignore it all…go party, go get drunk, go have an affair…whatever makes you happy at the moment because life is short and that’s all that matters.

Meanwhile some that actually have a conscience can’t seem to do that so they embrace option #2) they go hog wire bat shit crazy, the sky is falling, the sky is falling is their battle cry. But in actuality as Christians we aren’t meant to be fear mongers but faith and grace mongers.

Which brings us to the final option. #3) the path of grace! We are to observe ALL that is happening around us and within us and then through prayer and guidance, we are to set out to correct it. We are to ‘step into’ God’s grace. No fear needed!!! Just do it, even imperfectly. The problem is when we get stuck on options 1 and 2, I’m not saying we can’t enjoy God’s abundant provision, or even go a little crazy as we’re first discovering the work He has for us, we just can’t get stuck there…it becomes a diversion straight from the pits of hell to keep us from doing the work we were meant to do.

My Monday Morning Prayer

imageDear Lord, I’m ready to step into the life that You have planned for me. Walk with me and guide me every step of the way, and I shall not falter. I ask Our Blessed Mother Mary, St. Zellie Martin and St. Gianna Molla to walk this journey with me also. They were mothers and  wives willing to work hard to fulfill Your mission at whatever You asked of them. I want to do the same. Speak to me Lord, give me passion and drive and then stay with me. Fill me with Your grace so that others can see You through me. Less of me, more of You!!!

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen

Walking Around in Circles

620737_10151173566471907_1292095463_oSometimes our ‘stepping’ may resemble more of a dizzying, twirling motion than actual progression. Such has been my life recently, I get a few moments of clarity when it all seems possible and then bang…it all goes dark again. I start beating myself up for stuff beyond my control, and then I start self diagnosing. Well here’s the conclusion I came to yesterday…

Ok…wait for it…drum rolls please…I’m HUMAN! I don’t want to carelessly sweep away the possibility that I’m being used as the ‘Devils toy’  because yes, of course he loves to see us down and is always around waiting to devour…but I’m pretty confident that he’s not the one in control of my life. How do I know? Well…even in the purest of darkness I can sense my LORD…He sends me Angels to minister to me. The darkness itself is different…it’s not evil and hateful…it’s more of a hungering…a longing…for more love, more beauty (not for less)…more of HIM I guess. Not because He’s not there…I know that…but when He hides Himself, I forget. In my forgetfulness, yes…I’m capable of reaching out and trying to replace Him with other gods…I am sinful…He rescues me, time and time again…I do not need to fear Him not wanting me. In my humanness, I also struggle with physical issues that come from being an aging woman, with emotional issues that come from the choices I’ve made…some good others not so much…both have taken its toll. Why am I saying all of this? Because it’s something that I want each of you to remember if you are ever in my shoes…I’m older…let that be of some good for somebody.

Then today there was this …

I’m having a good morning with my son (with Autism) I’ve decided to stop feeling bad for what he can’t do and embrace what he CAN! That involves me being realistic with what level he’s actually functioning at…embrace what it is and work from there…instead of getting us both frustrated at trying to work at a higher level. Hmm…maybe this applicable to me too. I have amazing friends who have reached incredibly high spiritual levels…this is obviously why they put up with me…but I’m NOT where they are…and I can’t get all frustrated about not being THERE…I can just do the best I can HERE!

So yes…I keep stepping along…not always a straight path, but I believe that progress is being made after all.

Stepping Through the Darkness

IMG_5171There are times in our lives that moving forward is the last thing that we seem capable of doing. Whether due to emotional distress or physical illness, these dry spells can be almost unbearable. What are we to do then? Do we white knuckle it and keep pushing forward on our own strength? Well…sometimes a little bit of that is required, especially if you have others that are depending on you. But I’m here to suggest that you give yourself some grace too. If you have your schedule set up already, you should be aware of what is indispensable to get done and what is not. Go into ’emergency mode’, do the bare minimum. If you had a broken leg you wouldn’t be hard on yourself for not being able to climb a mountain. Well, there are all types of injuries…many not seen to the naked eye. Please go easy on your self. Allow God to come through and speak to your soul, this is your ‘desert’ time. See at as an opportunity to be with Him and to receive insights that wouldn’t be possible any other way.

Hosea 2: 14Therefore, behold, I will allure her,
and bring her into the wilderness,
and speak tenderly to her

Be aware of you inner dialogue at this point. Please don’t beat yourself up for what you can’t accomplish. God will make up the difference in due time. Do not focus on anyone else, keep your eyes on Jesus and what He is having you do…or not do…maybe He’s just asking you to sit and keep watch with him a bit. He is tilling the soil and preparing you for more. Your turn for doing will come don’t jump ahead of the game.

When you are ready to step forward again, start small. Look at the routines that you have set up for yourselves, they should be so  cut and dry that you can put them into action anywhere. Quite a few years ago I had to be in the hospital with my then three year old son, for three weeks. It was such a dark and trying time for me, but it helped to work on my routine even then. It was bare bones of course… I’d get self care completed, tidied up our hospital room for my own satisfaction, had prayer time scheduled as best as i could, when he was able to I added in time in the play room..etc. When my world got thrown into a whirlwind and everything seemed so out of my control, it was good to have a routine that anchored me to the here and now. It helped me to focus on something else other than the issues of the moment.

But the most important thing is to not give up! Never give up! Reach out and get help if you need it, your friends love you and most would be honored to be able to help. That’s what the body of Christ is for. Satan wants us to feel alone, that’s his game…God’s plan is different…it’s always about love and unity. Trust Him…even in the darkness!

Last September I was blessed with attending a retreat at a monastery. It was an amazing time of stillness and the Lord showed me so much. One day I was walking around the grounds and I sensed Him asking me to close my eyes. This was a road that I had been walking since I had arrived there and it was pretty straight forward, and yet it felt very strange to try to do it with my eyes closed. I could only manage for a couple of seconds then I would open my eyes to check on my progress. I felt He kept insisting that He was walking with me…as if we were playing a child’s game together. And the span of time withe my eyes closed grew longer and longer, it got to the point where I could memorize parts of the road and kind of knew where I’d be by the time I opened my eyes, and could feel Him with me more and more. I was having fun by the end as I chuckled and thanked Him for playing with me. 😉 He then impressed on my heart…that there was something about our game that He wanted me to remember once I was back home. That there would be dark days ahead for sure…similar to walking with my eyes closed…but that He’d always be there by my side…that I could move forward based on memory. You can too! 😉

Home Organization Day by Day with the Saints

imageHome Organization…STEP 4!

This week we are stepping on up and at this point it is when it all starts to  pull together. I have a very ADHD like mind, I’ve never been formally diagnosed but with all the juggling that I need to do and add age to that, and I can be very Dory like if left to my own devices. So the thing that helps me to keep all the balls up in the air is keeping a schedule, a la Fly Lady. I have set up ‘zones’ that are for my home chores as well as for my ‘steps’. My post today is about the steps though. So there are days that I focus more on one particular step, I don’t ignore the others however…but the gist of the day is dedicated to a particular step mostly for planning purposes. If something comes up that is not urgent, I can take note of it and deal with it on its appropriate day.

You may have seen the graph on the main page of my website with a daily assignment and not be aware of exactly how it fits in to the steps. So I will try to explain it here.

My week begins with Saturday the original Sabath day.

Step 1) SATURDAY:  Dedicated to getting my self on target. I try to evaluate what my needs may be for the week. This day is also a ‘Mary’ day, so I ask her help in getting closer to her Son and to others. I try to schedule a day of recollection once a month, where I get some alone time with the Lord and go to Reconciliation.

Step 2) SUNDAY: This is my day for ‘Community’…the body of Christ…at this point this mostly involves Church attendance and family time. I would like to extend that out more in the future. My ‘friends for the day’, my special saints are St. Francis and St. Clare.

Step 3) MONDAY: This is my day to focus on my career objectives, to set my job related goals for the week and start implementing some things that the Lord has put in my heart. My saints for Monday are Mary, St. Zellie Martin, and St. Gianna Molla.

Step 4) TUESDAY: My focus returns to my home at this point, I try to observe where our needs are and what steps need to be taken. Menu planning happens here. My saints for Tuesday are, Mary yet again and St. Martha.

Step 5) WEDNESDAY: Focus goes to the kids and any homeschooling issues that may have been brewing earlier in the week. My favorite saints for Wednesday are, St. Therese, St. Augustine, St. Joan of Arc and St. Philomela.

Step 6)THURSDAY: Hubby time. Plan is to put our heads together and deal with issues. I must tell you that with all I have going on right now, this is often my weakest spot. But I would encourage you all to do as I say and not as I do. 😉 My personal saints for Thursdays are My mom and dad (Francisco and Maria), Mary and Joseph and Anne and Joaquin.

FRIDAY: Is anti procrastination day! Whatever didn’t get tackled during the week…do it NOW! Friday I focus on the Holy Cross!

For keeping track of all of this, I LOVE the ‘HomeRoutines‘ app.

[I need to re-emphasize that this is not about reaching for perfection but simply stepping out into God’s grace and allowing yourself to be carried. It’s about listening to Him and what He wants for your own particular situation and in every area of your life. It’s about handing it over to Him and allowing Him to dictate His will to you personally. It’s about stepping out in OBEDIENCE to Him and not to any exterior sense of obligation.]

Here’s one of my favorite books on pulling it all together.. A Mother’s Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul

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